Between the sand and sea

She stands on the seashore

waiting for something more

Where she stays

she sees the waves

But if she goes forward she swims into the ocean of the great unknown

Searching for a new home

She feels the kiss of the warm sun on her skin

She hears the calls of the dolphins

So with boldness, she jumps in

She has begun to swim in the ocean of transformation

This is a season of transformation, not just for me, but for many. We are being lured to change as our world changes to adjust to awareness of the Covid-19 pandemic and the struggles of individuals with dark skin. And I’m moving! Not far but just 30 minutes away and even though it’s a beautiful home and an opportunity to live near family, I find myself resisting this goodness because I tend to resist change.

My prayer during this season is to learn to receive good things with gladness. Learning to receive is the sacred feminine way of being. Yet due to centuries of patriarchal systems, receiving can be a scary thing. I recently learned that our brains are wired to keep us safe, not drive us to success.

Im teaching myself that trying new things is good. I will keep myself safe. A few days ago, I had a moment alone in my back yard to connect with my inner child. I listened to her pain and let the tears flow. I imagined my adult, mama self hugging her tight. No one was there to comfort her when she cried so many times as a child. There was so much uncertainty in her childhood. Other people who took care of her we’re driven by fear, shame, and depression and therefore they were not fully present to witness the beauty of her gentle soul.

But now today, I am her mama. I watch out for her. I love her and protect her and keep her safe. When she gets upset, I listen. When she needs be alone, I give her space. When she wants to dance, I dance. I will keep her alive, we are integrating into a whole woman. A woman that loves fiercely. A woman that heals. A woman that listens and laughs. A woman that dances in the kitchen. A woman that lives in God’s mercy and extends that same mercy to others.

I want to encourage you today, if you’ve cut yourself off from any part of yourself, it’s time to reconnect. It’s time to squash the voices of shame and rejection. You are worthy of love. ❤️

“Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: Because of you we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:35-39‬ ‭CSB‬‬