My Covid Life

I thought I'd take some time to write about how much my life has changed since the Coronavirus began to spread throughout the United States. Back in March, we took a trip to Ohio to visit family on my husband's side over spring break. Little did we know that when we returned one week later, our whole world would change. Not just our world but our normal daily life.

It was so good to see family while up there and I am so glad looking back on it that we traveled by car and stopped as little as possible. I am glad that we stayed at his parents house and did not do many like going to the zoo or aquarium like we had planned; because we were more protected from getting the virus. We did enjoy farm fresh eggs and delicious coffee every morning as we looked out at the free range chickens in my in law's lusciously green backyard. We enjoyed going on go cart rides and playing card games with our nieces and nephews. I remember my mother in law coming home one day saying the stores were starting to run out of toilet paper and how expensive the toilet paper she bought was. This was the beginning of the madness. But thank God, we never had to go without toilet paper. Although we did have to settle for whatever brand we could find for a few months, we survived.

As soon as we finished the 17 hour drive from Ohio to Texas and we got everyone, inside it started raining and a thunderstorm hit. Times like this, I can't help but wonder "did God spare us?" Is he strategically protecting us from harm? Or did we just so happen to make wise choices that kept us from harm or hardship? Are we safe because we are reaping what we sowed by doing good things in our past? Or are we just lucky this time around? Because trust me, we have suffered.

My husband started working from home the first week we returned and my nieces and nephews in Ohio were told they would be out of school for a month. My daughter was told her spring break would extend for another week. I returned to my doctor's office for one week and on that Friday I bought a lap top and started working from home on Monday. At first I was relieved, because coming home to all these changes and everyone freaking out over groceries was causing me major anxiety. I was afraid to be in public or touch anything.

It took about a month to adjust to working from home and my daughter not going to school but doing school online. We've been fortunate to keep both our jobs and have our basic needs met. Still we lost our normal and depression, fear, and anxiety visit me. I agonize over if its safe to go places or see people and I never had to worry about this before. Protecting my family is so important to me. I celebrate the hard choices I have made and how I learned to stand firm for myself and my family's well being. I am learning to trust myself and my husband more each day. I am learning to be consistent with my children's routines and even my own. I am learning to take better care of my self by nurturing myself when I feel sad and encouraging myself daily. I am becoming more gentle and patient with myself and others. Even though when we watch the news we see suffering and injustice and outrage as a result, my heart is still filled with hope that we are all united through the Universal Christ and there is not one child that the Divine mother will withhold her love and comfort from.